i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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