THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
