what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
