But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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