You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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