which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I had to cum in my sink.
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