Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
