shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
