I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Come share oat with me in your robe
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
