think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
