Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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