R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
as a side note pls kill me
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