How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
