quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
