: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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