i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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