the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
