put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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