p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
