No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
