My balls are so social today.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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