I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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