Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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