Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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