who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
