I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
