i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
don't judge my taste in strippers
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
