I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
