It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
