her vagine was all disorganized.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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