clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
