she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
