she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
