It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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