You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
