SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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