I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The beer is more important than you right now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
