the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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