Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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