Your face is a jimmy john
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
