yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
