Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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