you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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