Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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