btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
