that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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