if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
