this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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