I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
