WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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