You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
