So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
