No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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